After my dissappointingly crappy post yesterday (as in, immediately after I wrote it) I began to think of ways to redeem myself. I'd been reading cracked.com articles for about two hours, which really kind of gets creative juices flowing. For those of you who are familiar with Cracked, you may think I'm off my rocker a bit. For those of you who are not, I direct thee here. Excuse the mild language and sexual references, because behind that are some seriously funny articles written by sardonic people that make the subjects interesting. So anyway, for today's post, I was inspired by an article about video games (here). It was saying how one reason it's not cool to be a gamer is that they're marketed towards 17-year-old douchebags, in that some of them are filled with lite porn and sexual references. I agree. I mean, seriously, you've all seen the commercials. That right there is objectifying women, I thought. And then, it hit me. What about the men? Sure, they don't get passed off as sew objects, but women really do have it a heck of a lot easier in some cases. Here's why, mostly pertaining to teenage boys.
1. Bathing suits. Sure, you've all seen the girls on the beach in skanky bikinis, showing off their goods. But at least we have a choice to wear a one piece or a tankini or something less promiscuous. Girls choose to strip down that far. So here's my point: guys have one style of bathing suit. Every single person reading this has seen the fat kid on the beach or at the pool who just does not look good with his shirt off. But that poor kid has no choice in the matter. There's no bathing suit for men that covers up his substantial girth, and if he wears a t-shirt he'll get made fun of. He has no choice but to wear something he probably feels uncomfortable in.
2. Skin. When puberty hits you like a wrecking ball, your face breaks out like a mad prisoner from a jail cell. Thankfully for girls, we have all this awesome stuff called makeup that hides the blemishes. Guys do not have makeup. If guys wear makeup and people notice, they get ripped on for being gay when all they were trying to do was cover up some of that nasty acne. You know the kind of nasty acne I'm talking about. It sucks. And boys can't just cover it up with cover-up.
3. Height. This one just kind of sucks, because there's not anything anyone can do about it. That wrecking ball hits all the girls first, so they get taller and fill out while the boys are left short little gangly things that still sound like Mickey Mouse.
4. Individuality. Girls can get away with dressing off the norm, not doing sports, and otherwise being different. If a guy tries to dress differently than everyone else, people assume he's gay. Or just weird. If a guy isn't into sports, he's a dork or a geek and people pay less attention to him. Boys have a far narrower margin as to what is accepted as normal and okay.
5. Support. We ladies have armies upon armies of people lined up to get us through our teen and young adult years. There are piles of magazines and websites out there for women that are filled to the brim with advice on romance and fashion and health. Um, HELLO? Where's the Seventeen for guys?? Are they not allowed to have problems or something? Are they expected to just deal with their issues and pretend they're not confused about everything? That's why it's up to us girls to casually dish out the tips. At least, that's what I think. Who else is going to tell them that their hair looks good like that or that color looks nice on him?
There you have it, folks. Hard proof that girls are better. Or at least have it better. Same thing.
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